PFC Cody Towse...eventually.

Well there are a couple ways you can start at an advanced pay grade in the United States Army. Things like college credit, ROTC, Eagle Scout Awards, and things like that. Since I'm an underachiever...I have none of those things under my belt, but alas there was hope. Basically you just have to be able to pass the Army Physical Fitness Test, and refer either two of your borderline retarded friends, or just one that has at least some semblance of organized thought in their skull, meaning they get at least 50 on the ASVAB.

I got my cousin Dustin Campbell to sign up too. Unfortunately for my pride's sake, he can put together an organized thought pretty well. Since he beat my score on the ASVAB with a 96. (I got a 93) Bummer, I know. I haven't take the physical fitness test yet but I don't think there's really any way I can fail it, it's not a particularly grueling thing. So between Dustin and my PFT, I'm going to start as as E-3. (Private First Class) This all means I get more pay initially starting out, and there are going to be about 10 fewer people in the army that can give me orders...