Friday, April 29, 2011

Frisbee and Snacks!

Yesterday I went to my first Future Soldier Function. A Future Soldier Function is basically just a meeting all the recruits in the Army Delayed Entry Program at our recruiting station have every other Thursday. I asked my recruiter, Sgt Anderson what we do at these things. He said, "Basically we just play ultimate frisbee and have some food and stuff."

So I show up to the function ready to play some extremely feminine sports...like frisbee. But after a short presentation from some Human Resources lady outlining the benefits and programs available for our families, and taking pictures for the Future Soldier Wall of Fame in the office, we got ready to go play. It was at this moment that one of the recruiters said "Let's go run up to the Y!" It was at this moment that I thought to myself, "I've made a huge mistake..."

Long story short, we got to the Y and started running...which lasted all of like 50 feet for most of the recruits. I of course am no average recruit. I ran all the way to the second of ten switchbacks...immediately wishing I was as smart as the kids that didn't start hiking up the side of a mountain with a full sprint.

There was one recruit, that is apparently in my "squad," that was wearing weights on his ankles and wrists. He was also dressed like the Unabomber or something. He made it about twenty-five feet before looking like he was about to have a cardiac episode. So one of the recruiter's told him to take off his damn weights and keep going. I don't know what happened after that, but on of the recruiters said that he quit after the first switchback...Army Strong!


I'll just say that I hope that a couple of my fellow recruits end up in supply and logistics...like so far away from the combat that they supply the supply and logistics guys.
Anyway. We all made it to the top of the Y, with the exception of Mr. Kaczynski of course.
Then we all ran down, so that we'd impress girls.

Probably didn't work.

PFC Cody Towse...eventually.

Well there are a couple ways you can start at an advanced pay grade in the United States Army. Things like college credit, ROTC, Eagle Scout Awards, and things like that. Since I'm an underachiever...I have none of those things under my belt, but alas there was hope. Basically you just have to be able to pass the Army Physical Fitness Test, and refer either two of your borderline retarded friends, or just one that has at least some semblance of organized thought in their skull, meaning they get at least 50 on the ASVAB.

I got my cousin Dustin Campbell to sign up too. Unfortunately for my pride's sake, he can put together an organized thought pretty well. Since he beat my score on the ASVAB with a 96. (I got a 93) Bummer, I know. I haven't take the physical fitness test yet but I don't think there's really any way I can fail it, it's not a particularly grueling thing. So between Dustin and my PFT, I'm going to start as as E-3. (Private First Class) This all means I get more pay initially starting out, and there are going to be about 10 fewer people in the army that can give me orders...

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Flame On!

At sometime in your life you will probably go to your grandmother's house for some In-N-Out just after you've gotten done with work for the day. And then immediately following this delightful dinner walk outside to find that your car is fully engulfed in a scorching hot mess of molten aluminum and exploding tires. Kidding. That probably won't happen to you. Ever. Because that doesn't happen to people. Except for me.