Hurry Up And Wait

Well I think I've been awake for about 27 hours now...so I'm slightly sleepy. Damn MEPS. The day went like this: First, everyone gets up at about 4:30 and gets all ready for processing, you know, showering, brushing your teeth, not putting on a thong (that was a specific instruction given to all recruits before going to processing...yeah I know). After a short bus ride from the Radisson hotel in Salt Lake City, we ended up at the actual MEPS building, about 20 minutes before they open apparently, so we waited outside. It was great.

The first thing that I learned today was that apparently recruiting stations are hotbeds for terrorist activities, since we were all frisked, wanded, and had our bags run through an x-ray machine...and naturally the metal detecting wand picked up the Juicy Fruit in my left pocket, but not the phone in my right.

Now the rest of MEPS is hard to remember in any specific order. I remember peeing in a cup. being taught how to "correctly" check a box on a form, getting a reasonably invasive physical exam, exercising in my underwear with five other recruits, and becoming pretty apprehensive about the fact that a couple of the guys in there were probably some day going to end up handling weapons that can wipe out small countries.

One of the new things I encountered was being told that no matter what I did, I did wrong, not because of incorrect procedure, but because of vague instruction or doing them too slow. A thing I'll have to get used to I guess.

There is also a lot of waiting at MEPS. Waiting for interviews, waiting for blood tests, waiting for urine tests, waiting for faxes, waiting for recruiters, waiting for paperwork, waiting for waiting rooms to have enough room for you. It's great.

We also had lunch. It was kind of like the stuff they gave you in elementary school, but withoutthe essential ingredient of lunch lady love, prepared by a guy that looks like he got the job as a service from the local prison unemployment bureau.

Oh, and if you end up going to MEPS any time in the future, try to avoid the fat guy named Scott, he is a lot like the cafeteria guy, but more condescending.

After lunch I went to the Army liaison to finalize my contract and DEP (Delayed Entry Program) in. I know DEP is a noun and not a verb, but I DEP'd nonetheless. I got my contract all assembled, promising me the MOS of 68W. (Health Care Specialist [Combat Medic])

Shortly after thumbprinting about a dozen pages I signed the dotted line...which is actually electronic now, so bummer.

Next step was to take my Oath of Enlistment, which ended up being just the Air Force major in charge of the facility, an aspiring Navy SEAL, and myself. Not much pomp and circumstance, and the whole thing lasted about 45 seconds.

Then I waited around to get a ride back home from my recruiter. By then of course I had mastered the ability to hurry up and wait.